Here We Are Again

OK, I’m officially tired of this now.  It’s over a year on and I’m still the same bloody weight – 12 stone 7 lbs.  And still the same dress size – generally a 14 though depending on the make can be anything from a 12 to an 18.

I’ve tried blogging (not very consistently it has to be said); reading fat blogs; creating an Excel exercise tracking log and various other techniques for managing what I know needs to happen: eat a bit less, exercise a bit more!  It’s not rocket science.

This year I’ve tried giving up different things each month:

Jan: alcohol

Feb: second helpings

Mar: kept the second helpings going (March was also during Lent so I pretty much gave up puddings, cakes, biscuits etc as well)

Apr: crisps

May: chocolate and cheese (much harder this one – I mainly stuck to it at home, but things did sneak in whilst I was out)
None of it seems to have made the blindest bit of difference to my weight, though it has given me some control over my eating.   I haven’t gone back to eating crisps in the same way I did before, though I am now going back for second helpings again I note.

Anyway, June’s project is to give up sugar.  I don’t think I can be too extreme about this – I’m not going to worry overly about things like ketchup and chutneys – but I’ll try hard for the rest.  And it’s going to be hard – it’s ice cream season when the sun shines.

Not Moving

Scales seem permanently stuck on 80kgs.  Receving a phone message from ex-boyfriend reminded me that I had hoped to be svelter and looking absolutely stunning when we next meet up (likely to be February).  So gotta keep focussed even though it’s bloody depressing.   Portion control is what is needed and I just can’t seem to do it.  Damn I love my food.

Giving it Up

OK – so the scales still don’t appear to be shifting at all. My latest idea was to give up alcohol, sugar, dairy and wheat – for a couple of weeks at least. (I got a bit sidetracked reading about the anti-Candida diet and thought this might be a slightly easier version of it.)

Like all such resolutions it lasted about 10mins. I womanfully stuck to water only on Thursday night, but couldn’t resist a glass of white wine after being all arty and seeing the Holbein exhibition at the Tate on Friday night. One glass turned into a few. And then on Saturday it was a dinner party and housewarming so would have been rude to have refused right? Five glasses were perhaps not necessary though. Neither was the bread used to mop up the pasta sauce nor the cheese we had instead of pudding – nobody would have noticed if I hadn’t had any.

But I would know. And I need to enjoy my food. And enjoy it in company with others. I do need to cut down on the quantity of wine I drink though – I just don’t seem to be able to stop after a certain while – all or nothing that’s me.

So the new ruling is no alcohol mid-week, only Friday and Sat. And no bread, dairy or sugar at home and try and avoid it when out, but don’t get too stressed by it.

Methinks it’s really portion sizes I need to work on – but this might help a wee bit for now.

Greedy Guts

I’m going out for dinner tonight at a rather nice restaurant – so I thought I’d better have quite a light day foodwise.  I had a bowl of muesli and a satsuma for breakfast.  And then an, admittedly early, lunch of Bubble & Squeak – left over champ from yesterday’s supper fried up in a little olive oil.  All told I only cooked up 4 potatoes so that basically means that despite the frying all I had for lunch was two medium spuds and some cabbage.

So feeling a little peckish around 5 I thought I’d have a slice of toast.  Except I didn’t just have ‘a slice’, I had one slice toast & gentleman’s relish, then one slice bread and apricot jam (to taste the apricot jam I’d just bought coz I’ve got guests tomorrow) and it was so, well not yummy exactly but moreish, that I had a third slice.  Which was completely unecessary and now I’ll probably still be quite full when I get to the restaurant.

Doh.  Why do I do this?

Going for Where?

Going for gold, my arse.  I appear to be going exactly nowhere fast.  Including blogging on this blog.  I notice I haven’t done a Monday update for a good couple of weeks.  And I still haven’t let Dietgirl know that I’m joining her on her Going for Gold challenge.

The scales still show me at somewhere between 12 and 12 stone 6 depending on whether I lean forwards or backwards.  I’m reckoning I appear to have stuck on 12 stone 4 lbs.   Which is kinda crap.

This week I have done no exercise at all.  Not even walking.  Well I did manage around 30 mins on Weds, but as it was around the shops it wasn’t exactly a cardio workout.  I slept through my kettlebell class on Weds morning – will try again tomorrow morning.

Basically I just feel like being lazy and snuggling under the duvet.  And given that I’m freelance and work from home I can do just that.  Which hasn’t made for a very productive week.  Is this depression?  Or just laziness?

Foodwise it hasn’t been so bad, though I do seem to be rather good at having light and healthy breakfasts and lunches and then binging in the evening.  And I still haven’t got that portion control thing under control.  Basically I live on my own and am incapable of cooking a one portion size of anything.  I always think I’ll just eat one helping but it’s so damn yummy that I can’t help going back for seconds and thirds…..gah.

Will get off my backside now and do some hoovering – that’s got to burn a few calories right?!

Fat of the Land

A weekend away to the countryside in the middle of the game season could only lead to one thing: lots of eating and drinking.

A gourmet game  evening on Friday night – 6 beautifully prepared courses with 8 different glasses of wine, carefully selected to go with each course.   The portions were small to middling but by the time we’d worked through grouse mouselline, pheasant stew, roast partridge…(actually I can’t quite remember what everything was, except delicious) and ended up with the most amazing brioche & butter pudding (light, fluffy with a gorgeous caramelly sauce) it’s probably safe to say that a large number of gourmet calories had been consumed.

Saturday night was a different kettle of fish entirely.  Slabs of wood balanced on straw bales in a pole barn usually used for lambing.  Whole breads baked with locally grown and foraged walnuts, mushrooms and nettles.  Half partridges and chops of lamb (raised in the next field) stuck onto long spears and barbequed by ourselves over a bonfire.  A massive vat of pheasant stew.  A cauldron of spicy pumpkin soup.  A mass of stewed pears and quince with cream.  Hand caught pike with wild mushroom sauce.  Local cider and apple juice.  Bucolic, farming life indeed.  The fat of the land without a doubt.  Lovely stuff.

The Scales

Maybe, just maybe it wasn’t the best idea in the world to have bought the cheapest weighing scales possible. Depending on where exactly I stand on them or even which way I lean my weight seems to fluctuate by around 6lbs!! Quite frankly I appear to vary a pound or two just by breathing
Suffice it to say that I think I’m somewhere between 12st 4lbs and 12st 7lbs at the moment.

Went on huge hike yesterday (well 7 miles plus a few extra getting there and back). Was v restrained in the lunchtime pub stop, lime soda, soup plus roll. Scarfed my couscous salad on the train home but that was the only supper I got apart from two G&T’s, one Pisco Sour and a glass of champagne!!

I’m Back

Oh how does it happen.  I was doing so well up to July (which was the challenge after all) and then things just slipped until I stepped on the scales the other day and I was definitely in the wrong half of 12.5 stone.  (Even I don’t dare admit that it might have been nearer 13)

I thought some of it was due to bloating, and to dodgy scales but there’s no getting round it, I can’t make the needle any lower that 12 stone 6lbs.

So I’ve had a week of eating fruit and veg – avoiding food that apparently contributes to bloating – and being  pretty good with the exercise: kayaking twice, aerobics once and lots of walking and cycling.

But it needs to continue.  So I’ve decided that, as she’s pretty much the same weight as me, I’m going to join DietGirl in her Going for Gold challenge.  Iwon’t necessarily make the same commitments she makes, I need to work for my body and lifestyle, but I hope as she loses I’ll lose, and I can use her to keep myself on track.  Now I’d better go tell her!

Going back up

Well look what happens when I stop writing here and tracking my exercise.  Yes, that’s right I’m heading back up.

It’s been a busy few weeks – first of all I was away for my brother’s wedding – I came back 4lbs heavier but had managed to get back down to just over 12 stone by the time I flew off to Spain on the following Friday.

Amazingly a weekend at a Spanish fiesta eating large delicicious meals, snacking on pintxos (Basque for tapas and very gorgeous they were too) and drinking local cider, rioja and the lethal kalimucho (red wine and coca-cola mixed!!) resulted in a 2lb loss.  Go figure.  So I was very briefly, for no more than half a day, at just under 12stone.

But I coudn’t get back into the healthy eating and exercise routine.  I spent last week snacking on cheese and ham brought back from Spain and not really eating proper meals at all.  As for exercise – pah, nothing.

Thursday night I flew to Ireland.  Yes, I managed to fly out of Heathrow on the day of the biggest terror alert – well done me.  And well done Aer Lingus for getting me there.  One Irish wedding later and my weight has gone back up again.  Grr.

I stocked up at the supermarket this morning – but have been gorging on soda bread since lunchtime.  I should go to aqua aerobics but it’s cold and grey outside and I don’t feel like leaving the house.

Motivation – where have you gone?

Wedding Day

So, my brother got married on Saturday.  It was a wonderful day.  Full of friends and family.  And love.

No-one, not even me, was worrying or wondering as to whether I had in fact dropped a dress size.  And I don’t know.  Because I had my mother’s dress reworked and it was lovely.  In fact I got lots and lots of compliments on it – and many questions to know where it came from.  So I was pleased.

Not quite so pleased about how I looked in the photos though.  From the ones I’ve seen on peoples’ digital cameras for some reason I had my hand on my hip and my leg stuck out in the ‘official’ photos which just looks a bit weird when everyone else is standing normally.  Gaargh.

Oh well.

It may also be safe to assume that the quantity of food eaten and wine and other drinks drunk (starting with half a bottle of whisky imbibed with my brother on Thursday night and ending with ridiculously strong Pimms last night) mean that I have no doubt put back pn any weight I may have lost in the preceding weeks.

I’m sure there are times to learn how to be restrained during weekends of jollity and celebration – but this wasn’t one of them.

I will continue the blog though – would still like to ‘drop a dress size’